Surviving a Family Crisis
It takes so little a time to make a family crisis. Meet
Eddy, out of work, his sixteen-year-old Jenny has been smoking; and the family
savings are running out. Sarah’s, his wife, pregnancy test results, are
unquestionably positive though she is thinking of filing a divorce. Many a
time, day-to-day bustles like these can bottle up causing a stressful
situation. Events that follow can lead to a family in crisis characterized by
physical domestic violence, verbal abuse, separation, and ultimate divorce
(Lauer, et al 2011). Yesterday Ed’s life as a husband and father is just
splendid, today he is a cradle of chaos. How will he handle the task of getting
his kingdom back on its feet, equip them with the ability to cope up with all
that tomorrow holds?
Life can be tough, especially when we get surprisingly hit.
However, knowing when to make lemonade in the event of such touch times is the
proper way to combat long term undesirable effects. There are several ways Ed
can use to redefine his crisis in a way that will enable him change his take on
the problem. First, he needs to show Sarah and Jenny that he can still be in
charge through a great sense of personal control. Helplessness results to
despair, despair to something much worse to contain. Like the sky calms down a
brewing storm, self control can help this small family manage through such a
crisis. Secondly, Ed should remember that it is almost impossible to change
Sarah’s and Jenny’s personal decisions (Lauer, et al 2011). The bets he can do
is offer reassurance, availability and encouragement, but it is up to Sarah to
recall her divorce suit and Jenny to quit smoking.
Thirdly, Ed should gamble with the ability to identify and
deal with his self-surrender behavioral patterns that keep him from reaching a
solution. By saying that he cannot do it, he sets himself up for the worst
outcome before showing his last kicks of a dying horse. Lastly, fear should be
shunned at all costs (Lauer, et al 2011). Averseness keeps individuals from
taking up the risky task of reclaiming family normalcy once more. Reading
journals, newspapers, to name but a few, puts one in a greater position to find
solutions to a crisis. Ed’s family can, therefore, desirably recover and cope
through strength and preparedness. In most societal contexts, the word crisis
stands for a looming danger; a looming danger comes under the disguise of
unavoidable opportunity.
Moving on after a Family Divorce
Now constantly drunk and abusive, Old Ed has found sanctuary
at Moe’s, the neighborhood drinking den. Sixteen-year-old Jenny spends her time
convincing Sarah to leave her abusive father. Sarah decides to go on with the
divorce. Jenny, confused and scared, confides in her school counselor that
parents getting a divorce. Ed is an alcoholic, unstable and unemployed. If this
divorce goes through, he stands to lose custody over Jenny and the family
house. Divorcing marks the end of a long term relationship where emotions,
property, commitment, and children were involved. Such situations can turn an
individuals’ life upside down through pangs of emotional break down and create
a wholly different person (Lauer, et al 2011).
Why do divorces hurt with such intensity even when marriage
relationships were not going on so well? Marriages begin with an optimistic vow
of “till death do us apart”, and so when such sand castles finally fall,
spouses experience deceit, stress, and disappointments. So how should involved
parties deal with divorces? Lucky enough, experts provide a number of
suggestions to help families like this to get through such tough times. First,
Ed should recognize the normalcy of feeling sad, anger, and frustration. Sarah
should realize and accept a venture into the unknown future. Jenny stands to be
the most confused of the three with mixed feelings of party indecision,
frustration, and downright confusion.
The faster one accepts broken family bonds the faster such hangovers
lessen with time.
Secondly, everyone in this family needs to give themselves
chance to break away from the past and prepare for the future. In deed likened
to combat, recently divorced families are wounded soldiers who a chance to
re-group, heal, and revitalize. Lastly, parties should talk to friends and
family, join a support group and seek professional counseling to help them go
through such touch situations. Divorces provide perfect reasons for
self-isolation leading to self destructive habits which only suspend, lengthen,
and intensify stress (Lauer, et al 2011). Unemployment, physical and verbal
abuse put Ed’s family into a higher divorce risk group. His ability to get back
to work, get to Jenny, and look for future relationship partners depend on his
ability to get hold of himself.
Coping with a Remarriage
Ed
finally stopped drinking, has sought help, and is looking forward to his new
job. To everyone’s surprise, Sarah moved to New York and left the house and
Jenny under Ed’s care. Meet Liz, a local high school teacher and former member
of Ed’s support group, who lost her husband in a plane crash one year ago. Liz
and Ed have been dating for five months now; they each think it is time they
got married and move in with together. Although childless, the thought of
having Jenny as a step daughter excites Liz to the back of her head. However, Jenny
has trouble coping up with Ed’s new wife. She stills blames Ed for her family’s
separation.
How long does Jenny take to entirely forget about their past
life and embrace the future? Fortunately for Liz, Sarah has left everything
under her control. She should try everything to become that new mother Jenny
needs. Secondly, she should realize that the pursuit for a positive with Jenny
entails sacrificing parenthood for friendship. Lastly, since the presence of
Jenny in this new relationship proves to be a constant reminder that Sarah
remains part of the family. Liz should, therefore, learn to deal with Sarah in
a way that allows accommodation. Acting contrary to the above suggestion would
only add up to a, new potential, family crisis (Lauer, et al 2011).
References
Lauer,
J. & Lauer, B. (2011). Marriage and
Family: The Quest for Intimacy. New York: McGraw-Hill
Companies, Incorporated.
No comments:
Post a Comment